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Cougars want to be predatory–some women like to be on top

April 15, 2009
Cougar
Image by digitalART2 via Flickr

Salon writer, Rebecca Traister, seems confused as to why women would want to be cougars:  associate with the slimy, sad, and hypersexualized but underperforming men? Ewwww….  But, realiztically, sex for women does get better after 30, and sex for men seems to go downhill in frequency.  Maybe some women want the men’s article to be at the top of his game.  Maybe some women like to be on top of their game with his game.  It’s a thought.  I wrote a comment on Salon’s article about this:

Cougars are predatory and powerful

I think women want to be powerful, predatory even. Women want to seem as though they have the upperhand in one sexual encounter. So what. I don’t think women are going to make better sexual choices because they are somehow better than men based on gender. I have had plenty of women make bad sexual choices, and they just keep them to themselves. Why do women want to flaunt it? Well, that’s the power equation. Check out the new burger king ad (who’s won my Asshole Business Award of the Week) for the depiction of women flaunting around an old king, as if gets any more archetypal! It’s the flaunting of sexuality and freedom that women are looking for, as well as the power of stalking. After all, who doesn’t like to be in charge?

But maybe Rebecca Traister doesn’t realize that this is the sort of thing that some women get off on.  Some women like to be in charge, on top, and going as frequently as they can.  What’s so strange about that?  Women’s sexuality often times matches men (except when a number of women lose their uterus to hysterectomies, which has a distinct link to lowered sex drive),

quote from my post on it:

Now doctors have evidence that points to the fact that “surgical menopause” caused by surgeons removing the ovaries and the uterus affects women’s sex lives at a 100% greater rate than natural menopause (or normal aging and having menses stop).   Hmm, take a hard look at that data.  Granted, only 12% of women having menopause caused by surgeons have sexual disabilities that make them have a low quality of life, but that still means one in ten.  I would not want to take the chance of being that one.

and it’s something that stays with us throughout our lives.  What’s so wrong with calling women cougars, when the term for men is “dirty old guy” coming from a 20-year old.  I suppose a cougar isn’t a bad thing.  I think Traister seems a bit put off in a way about the morals of the equation.  Traister, just think of it as sex, and it will get better.  Oh, and for all women, sex has something to do with pregnancy, reproduction, kids, etc.  so that can’t be removed from the equation.  But taking charge sure seems like a good idea any time for me.

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