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Perfect Vagina: Male Commentary–Bite the testicles

June 4, 2010

I wrote about The Perfect Vagina just last week, which also gives you a link for video and pictures. For those of you interested in the male perspective regarding the film:  The Perfect Vagina, here is a blog post I found, written by a man who has some great advice regarding men who want their new wives to bleed on their wedding nights, bite the testicles, of course:

A more serious problem was highlighted by the rise in ‘Laser Hymenoplasties’ -particularly amongst young, Muslim women. These poor ladies are apparently under an increasing pressure to ‘bleed’ on their wedding night to prove they are still virgins, so they are having their hymens artificially reinstored. Here’s a tip for you girls: if your husband-to-be is such an evil religious bigot that he wants blood on the wedding night, why not just bite off his testicles? Better still, don’t marry the twat in the first place. No bloodshed required on either side. Just a thought.

Of course, we poor unfortunate men have had to contend with this sort of thing for decades. The size of the penises you see in porn movies are not at all representative of the rest of us, and a friend of mine (not me, a friend of mine) can only make it through one of these ghastly films by repeating over and over to himself the mantra ‘he’s just got very small hands, he’s just got very small hands’… As I say – not me, a friend of mine.

It also can’t help that every second email I receive asks me if I would like a bigger cock – and that’s just the ones I get from my mother. So we men feel your pain, ladies, and not just because it increases our chances of a shag, but y’know, for like, proper caring reasons ‘n’ stuff.

We’re all victims of this brainwashing shite. So here’s an idea. Stop buying the glossy magazines, girls, and stick around with us here at Watch With Mothers. I can assure you there are far bigger and uglier twats than yours on this very site, every day of the week.

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