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Goddesses Who Don’t Ask For Permission To Kick Your Ass: Part One–Goddesses Send You to Hell or Orgasm Brings Light to the World

March 18, 2015

There is a certain type of ego involved in our society today, namely that since we have invented computers that we hold the candle on inventions that rock, that we are somehow smarter than those past generations who have trouble navigating cell phones. We might pity them, sure, but we are quite confident that we have the upper hand. We invented sex, too. As well as war, violence, and Call of Duty. We have so got this.

Consider that we do not. Consider that past generations recognized something that society today seems to have forgotten, the ferocity of women. And they immortalized them, talked about goddesses, recognized the full scope of humanity includes some kick-ass women, and not nice ones, or some who only are violent when defending their precious progeny, just plain recognizing the full spectrum of humanity doesn’t always include helpless virgins. Cell phones be damned, they had the whole bit of humanity by its teeth.

Don’t think that this is just an isolated incident–nope, worldwide. We don’t even have cell phones worldwide. We might be falling behind…

Consider Ancient Egypt had a goddess who birthed the major gods, a goddess of water in a desert might be the most powerful goddess ever:

Tefnut was the ancient Egyptian goddess of moisture, rain and dew—a very significant task in a desert country. Daughter of the sun god Ra, she was depicted as a lion-headed goddess, occasionally with the body of a serpent. Tefnut’s rage caused droughts; her return brought renewed life; and oh, yeah, she was the mother of the gods of the sky and earth, and grandmother of Egypt’s principal gods, Horus, Isis, Osiris and Set.

HuffPost has an article entitled, “10 Most Badassed Goddess of World Mythology,” from which the above was quoted. You should check it out. Norse mythology had a goddess for whom the term “go to hell” was phrased. She was “Hel,” goddess of the torment, goddess from hell, literally. Talk about kick ass.

Perhaps you are wondering: “what about heaven?” We have a goddess of hell, but what about heaven. Japanese have the covered, a goddess who ruled in the heavens, with no male in sight, and when she was unhappy, total darkness, not a goddess to displease. How about I suck the entire light out of your life, leave you in total darkness, control the heavens, and then kick my dumb brother out when he acts like an ass. Yes, got it, or as Huff Post article describes, rules it:

Amaterasu or Amaterasu-ōmikami is one of the major deities in the animistic Shinto religion of Japan; her full name means “Great Divinity Illuminating Heaven.” One of the world’s few female solar deities, a principal myth featuring Amaterasu depicts her conflict with her brother, Susanoo, god of storms and the sea. Angered with Susanoo because he threw a flayed horse into her weaving hall (rude), Amaterasu withdrew to a cave and brought an age of darkness upon the world. She was eventually coaxed into leaving the cave (pictured above), but Susanoo was banished from heaven. As a gesture of reconciliation, he gifted her the legendary sword Ama-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi (天叢雲剣, “Sword of the Gathering Clouds of Heaven”)

Was it some shapely male that coaxed the female goddess out of hiding to bring the world out of total shutdown? Nope, a woman was a savior, once again. This time, a dancing woman, who partially undresses to make people laugh and engages the other angry goddess. Dancing goddess who saves the world from total darkness by figuring out how to relate to another woman?

Amenouzume, in full Amenouzume No Mikoto,  in Japanese mythology, the celestial goddess who performed a spontaneous dance enticing the sun goddess Amaterasu out of the cave in which she had secluded herself and had thus deprived the world of light.

Amenouzume decorated herself with club moss and leaves of the sakaki tree, lit bonfires, and made a platform of an upturned tub. Her inspired cries and divine dancing, in the course of which she exposed herself, so delighted the assembled gods that they roared in laughter, thus awakening the curiosity of the sun goddess.

That description of “inspired cries and divine dancing” sounds a lot like an orgasm, from a surprising source, the Britannica. What woman wouldn’t be tempted by the mother of all orgasms? And with said orgasm comes light to all the world. I like it. I really like it. As in Harry Met Sally, I’ll have what she is having.

Meg Ryan does this best, maybe a shout out to Amenouzume in the the scene below?

Check out the goddess post. Or, you can just wait; I will bring out their best in a few more posts…

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