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Why This Labor Nurse’s Blog Demonstrates The Misogyny OB Wards: Adventures of A Labor Nurse Shelly Lopez Gray Wins The Asshole of the Week Award

August 12, 2015

Sure, we know that everyone wants to have a voice, even if it’s wrong, even if it’s offensive, and even if it’s well, wrong. A woman who published an article on Huff Post, just sounds huffy, not particularly well informed. She is bitching about her job, her job as a labor nurse, tending to women who are giving or have given birth, and her points sound like some sort of hazing bit that demonstrates the manner in which OB wards treat women, particularly those laboring, like children.

The woman’s post is entitled: “If Nurses Could Talk To You Like They Talk To Their Kids…

Let me just point out for starters that not many professionals want to talk to other people at work like they talk to their kids, which sounds punitive at best and ragingly insecure at worst. Point one: you don’t talk to other people the way you do children, because, surprise, it’s not professional.

It gets worse, what follows is a long line of complaints about her job, like having to take out trash, telling women that they need to “stop whining” (masochist much, Labor Nurse?) and other insulting things like “pain doesn’t last forever.”  The fact of the matter is that even comparing other women to this nurse’s relationship with her children is pretty telling: 1) that she considers her patients “beneath her” 2) that it’s her job to tell the patients what to do because they have the maturity of children (these are other grown adult women to whom she is referring) and 3) that it’s ok to treat women with the contempt she shows for her children (poor kids) because she is employed by the medical model.

Labor Nurse evidences a good amount of aggression toward a patient with mentions of “I want to chuck a pillow at you…” and other mature commentary:

Remember your manners.  Manners go a long way. I’m just saying—even my 2 year old knows how to say ‘please’. I’m just saying I want to chuck the pillow at your head when you say “get me another pillow.”

Laboring women are equated to a 2-year old and bring out a threat of violence that isn’t just immature, but is surprising in that I wonder how this woman is still employed.

Labor Nurse jokes about pain laboring women are in a pretty harsh manner, treats them like children, and generally seems to hate her job:

Look at me when I’m talking to you.  FFS, pay attention! Put down your cell phone. Lower the t.v.  Make some eye contact with me so I know there’s a light on in there. Forget understanding what I’m saying—my first goal is for you to hear me.

Pain doesn’t last forever.  No matter how bad your pain is right now, remember that pain will not last forever. On a side note, I hope you don’t have to die to get relief, but in the meantime, just concentrate on the positive and hopefully knowing that it won’t last forever will help you out.

So, this is why women should go to the hospital to bring another person into this world, to be treated poorly like this woman’s children are, with diminishing commentary, mocking tone and derogatory demands for affection?

Just in case you happen to be a woman in labor, the woman’s name is Shelly Lopez Gray, so you can avoid her if you don’t want to be treated poorly by the medical model. After all, who is the 2 year old in this equation? The nurse or the woman birthing a baby? Wait a second? Is that what the medical model has come to, laboring women are children? Haven’t we been there before?

Shelly Lopez Gray wins the Asshole of the Week Award for her misogyny.


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